Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Reflection Time?

2009 has been a rough road for me. Lot's of ups and downs. Reflecting has been a huge part of my life since my father passed. That event made me re-think my entire existance. And since that event occured, I have tried to make reflecting a daily ritual.

On my way home from work is when I reflect most often. I used to have a two hour commute home that gave me plenty of time to pick apart each part of the day. Eventhough my commute now is only about a half hour to an hour, (which happens to only be 12 miles...but that is 12 LOS ANGELES miles on surface streets downtown) it is still plenty of time to reflect on my day.

Most of what I have focused on in the past is how my day went at work. How I handled situations, whether or not I completed everything I needed to, or wanted to...Is my day set up properly for tomorrow? All work thoughts...

Things have changed lately. I have been focusing more on my dealings with people. Interactions with friends and family. Trying to reflect on relationships that matter most for the long haul.

I have been trying my hardest to not only acknowledge, but try to understand the mistakes that I make (with the end all goal of not making them twice or even more for that matter). It's not an easy task as one might think.

This year has been very tricky to say the least. My lady and I got engaged, My Grandmother passed away a few weeks shy of 96 years old, I moved in with my fiance, and my fiance's grandmother died as well. One of my dearest friends passed this year, which hit me much harder than I ever could have imagined. So much so, that I made it a point from that moment on to re-evaluate many of my close relationships. I have mended relationships, alongside of letting go of others.

Work has been a constant roller coaster of change, some which has been good, some which has been bad. I have made good decisions followed by terrible ones. So much has happened this year I wonder all of what I forgot too...alot would be an understatement.

Bottom line is this...2009 has been one of the most rewarding years of my life, while still maintaining in the top five devastating years of my life.

I have tried my hardest to truly learn from mistakes I have made this last year, and continue to learn as much as I can about myself, life, and happiness.

2010 will be a massive year for me personally. I know so, because I am going to make it so.

1 comment:

Morelli said...

Fucking word.